Epiphany By Force : Bad Idea

I could watch this over and over and over. I'm kind of amazed that he finished the segment like a pro. Welcome to the battlefield, I guess -JK

Movie : Foot Fist Way

Freaking. Hilarious. Watch. -JK

Soundtrack : Your Life?

This was a bulletin I completed from MySpace sometime ago. You take all of the songs you have, load them up on one playlist and set it to random. Each song that comes up accords to each section on the list; one after the other. For the most part it's quite fitting, though, there are some pretty funny ones :-) -JK

--------------------------------

Opening Credits:
Creed - One

Waking Up:
Robert Miles - Children

First Day At School:
Verve Pipe - Freshman

Falling In Love:
Lil John and The Eastside Boyz - Get Low

Fight Song:
Rancid - Ruby Soho

Breaking Up:
Huey Lewis and The News - This Is It

Prom:
Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight

Life's OK:
Sublime - What I Got

Mental Breakdown:
Vertical Horizon - Shackled

Driving:
Dope - You Spin Me Round

Flashback:
The Shawshank Redemption - Main Title Theme

Getting Back Together:
Blessed Union Of Souls - All Along

Wedding:
Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland - Turn Off the Lights Remix

Birth of Child:
The Crystal Method - Keep Hope Alive

Final Battle:
Evanescence - Bring Me to Life

Death Scene:
Soundgarden - The Day I Tired to Live

Funeral Song:
Eli - Things I Prayed For

End Credits:
Green Day - When I Come Around

Strength In Numbers : Flee The Border Patrol

All,

This is just flat out hilarious. A dash camera capture of (what I presume are) Border Patrol agents that have stopped a minivan in attempt to either question or arrest what they believe to be illegals. The soundtrack pretty much makes the whole video :-) -JK

God Bless The Creative : Superfriends Meets Friends

All,

It is the creation of humor and the need for those to spread it that truly enlightens us all. I believe that when we can laugh at anything and everything we can not only come together unexpectedly but also dispel the very worst and darkest parts of our greatest ideas and desires to make the world what we think it should be. -JK

Power Thirst : Gratuitous Amounts of Energy!

All,

This is hilarious. A great pun on the hundreds of energy drinks available that pretty much screw up your metabolism. Below is part one. If you wish to see the sequel, which is even funnier, it's linked just below this post :-) Thanks to the Maestro for this. -JK

[warning: contains bleeping and some profanity]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-3qncy5Qfk (sequel)

You Will Laugh : The Talking Stain

All,

Just when I think I'm creative and have laughed more than I can stand... someone else comes in as a new contender :-) -JK

Meet Scarlett Johansson : $18K+ (and why not?)

All,

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this auction on eBay (for charity, of course) was part of an old Jeff Foxworthy joke, "Hell yeah I can write you a check!" :-) Don't get me wrong, a good cause is a good cause --surely-- but this girl is just flat out freaking gorgeous. And don't think I haven't considered starting a "donate to me" Paypal fund to make this happen... hmmm... - JK

Guess Who's Back : An Online World WIthout Me?

All,

Yeah, yeah, back again. A lot of changes happening in my web world as of now and massivelatte.com is going to be a pure blog from here on out. No sections, downloads, etc. I'll be separating a lot of that out to other sites going forward. So stick around! There won't be anything too fancy here but a number other sites I'm working on standing up might just be worth it :-)

(ML) will remain my personal blog; random posts, funny stories, rants, raves and anything else I want :-) roguezero.com is still my primary, personal web portal that will list out all of my sites. 47images.com is under construction for my image gallery and photography services as well as deepfoam.com for spewing out my thoughts and literary creations that I know you wonder about all day long :-) There'll be more sites on the way after that as well such as snewser.com; an offbeat news blog website for which I'm taking applications for those who wish to be contributors to the endeavor. Email me; jk@massivelatte.com -JK

Well Hello Shirley! : I'm in the Google Top 10!

Everyone does it. I've Google'd others and I've Google'd myself -hell, someone has even Google'd me (and I'm glad she did) :-)

However today I Google'd my name, first and last, with NO quotes around it (an important nuance when searching for specifics) and my resume website came up in the 10th place result! I guess that's one step closer to either fame or getting my identity stolen. Sweet! :-)

The above photo is Google, Inc. circa 1999 -they now operate about 500,000 computers in the world-wide cluster that runs the search giant. Everyone starts in the #10 slot at some point, right? ;-) -JK

Evidence of Absence? : Nope, I'm Still Here

All,

Yeah, I know, it's been weeks since my last post. I've been in a funk as well as busy with some important technical projects (I'm also heavy into the job search right now so let me know if you have any ideas or opportunities).

I go in for my MRI today to try and see just what the hell is causing this strange condition I've been hit with for the last 5 months. Anyway, I'm on my way back so stay tuned and pass me anything you want posted. For now, I say we all laugh (see movie below) [warning: contains bleeping and some profanity] -JK

[ video removed ]

How To Get Elected: This Is How Stewie Do (revised post)

Secret Formulas: My Kind Of Math

I don't see anything wrong with the solution to this equation, do you? -JK

Anti-Pigeon Poop Security: A New Device for Cars

Eye of the Tigre: Survivor's Got Nothing On This

Gotta love the "Eye of the Tiger", right? Maybe an Auburn graduate put this together, you know? In fact it looks suspiciously like Erik's work. Either way I vote that it's a better video than the original. WAR EAGLE! -JK

Weird Al's Plea: Don't Download This Song

What a happy tune, don't you think? -JK

Monkey's On Acid: Not Everything About Your Old Job Sucked

I ended up hating a lot of things about my old job that are barely worth mentioning here (let alone today). But I did enjoy most of the people and, in particular, a select few along with the great audio broadcasts over the intercom from movie clips and cartoon shows. I present this in honor of that :-) -JK

[ video removed ]

How Not to Be Seen: Monty Python Plays Halo

Erik, we should have used this as an object lesson to Ben, years ago (or maybe just put him in the games as the moron getting blown away while standing in some large open area wondering where everyone went); such fond memories :-) -JK

Size of the Boat vs. The Motion in the Ocean

Thanks to the boys in Production for sending this one in. It's good to see that so much fills up your day and that the real issues get sent across your desk (and not mine) :-) 3 centimeters? Ouch. - JK

Condoms 'too big' for Indian men

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

The issue is serious because about one in every five times a condom is used in India it either falls off or tears, an extremely high failure rate.

"It's not size, it's what you do with it that matters," he said.

"From our population, the evidence is Indians are doing pretty well.

"With apologies to the poet Alexander Pope, you could say, for inches and centimetres, let fools contend." (credit BBC News, Delhi; full story here)

When Cell Phones Attack: A Daily Tragedy

The Ping of Death: And I Couldn't Stop...

This is just one of those videos you can play over and over again and it just keeps getting funnier :-) Don't forget about yesterday's (last night's) post about women who fart and the airlines who detain them (classic!). Still working on the weekend Huntsville photos (and videos). - JK

P.S. Check out TechTopPicks.com (ha! get the pun?) run by my good friend Andrew (he knows a thing or two).

Proof That Women Fart: A New Mile High Club?

Flatulence forces emergency landing
American flight diverts to Nashville after woman lights match to mask gas

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident. (credit AP; full story here )

In the Meantime: Punch a Shark

I'm working on photos from the weekend for another post so, in the meantime, I'll be posting random entertainment for you... :-)
- JK